Monday, October 14, 2013

Clouds

Hello blog,

Today is columbus day or at least the holiday as it celebrated here.  I've never quite gotten how we celebrate a holiday to commenorate that the Indians were told their homeland is now discovered but then again I guess that is the perspective of those writing text books.

Last week I had my first session with a new therapist.  I hope that this will be productive and will give her an earnest shot. I am still not quite sure of this entire therapy thing.  I alsmost left her office after waiting almost a half hour in the waiting room - I hope that is not par for her running late each time. I spent the time working on a new poem below and started to write some more.

Other miscellaneous thoughts in the old cranium here. I dared to venture on a scale last week for the first time in a few and saw that my weight was still a touch below 150 even though I cheated by stripping down to just my underwear to weigh in. I'm going to start working to try and get to 140 at least so I'll see how that goes.  When I mentioned that and some of my history to the therapist, I instantly earned the depresssion dignostic code. Oh well, that is really depressing.  And onto to more depressing news, follow this link http://www.huffingtonpost.com/cathy-kaufman/my-life-with-david-danielle-kaufman_b_4072395.html to read about a transgender woman who decided it was too much to keep going on.  I can sympathisize with her knowing that feeling of being up somewhere wondering what you were doing or if you should jump.  I guess for better or worse I am not been known for my follow-through here.

Well, that about wraps my current thoughts for the moment.  I'll try to struggle on through for another day here and hope that things will seem a bit brighter.  Till then, take care.
Hugs,
Jacki


Clouds
Clouds that drift overhead,
Silently shifing, bringing life, bringing dread,
Randomly dispersing their contents onto the ground,
Their lonely cold tears they shed.

Over busy citizens far below,
Bustling, rushing, moving to and fro;
Where are they going?
What does it all mean?
Why should we even care?

These formless shapes without any weight or soul,
Without eyes, ears or senses to hear our despair,
Do we take for granted the clouds above?
Or do they reflect our deep feelings inside?

These unjudging vessels that life depends,
These silent witnesses to our pretense,
These poweful clouds do we even notice them?
Do you feel their rain and know,
Their silent tears are raining down again,



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