Confession

Hello blog,

I have spent a long time recently thinking about many things.  Mostly it all comes back to how uncomfortable I feel as a man and trying to accept that I am who I am.

Tomorrow I have another appointment with my therapist whom I think is going to recommend me to see a psychiatrist. I told her I was scared to see one but not for the real reasons why.

Really, I want to see one and confess that I do not want to continue like this.  I feel like I am a complete mistake in body and really the only time I feel right is when I present as Jaclyn.  I want to start HRT and see where that leads although I fantasize about completing the process.  I know that this is not an easy choice and not without severe consequences, the least of which means leaving all family and things behind.

Right now that is the only thing I want though.  I can't deny this any longer and need to start confessing the truth. Can I do that? Will I do that?  I need some strength and someone to tell me it is alright or at least I can make it.

I need a hug.
Jaclyn