reflects from week1

Good morning,

Alot has happened with me in the past month yet I feel somedays that things are going much slower than I like.  Sort of a contradiction of things as I was reminded that transformation implies something that takes time.  Patience is a virtue that I lack at times.

As I am nearing the end of my first week on t-blockers, I am not sure if I really notice many changes yet besides the urge to run to the washroom more frequently.  I have been trying to up my water intake as well so that may be contributing to that.  Emotionally, I have felt a little more calm thinking how my body is removing that yucky hormone but besides that I feel roughly the same.  I haven't thought about suicide much the past few days so perhaps subtle changes in my mental state are happening below my perception. I don't know really, and I guess what I have accept is that there is so much that I don't have any idea about.

I have been writing a bit but nothing too good.  I will share a quick verse here and perhaps come back to this at a later date.

Hugs,
Jaclyn


Drifting through the clear blue sky,
Shapes transforming to my eye,
Sit transfixed staring up am I,
As the peaceful cloud passes slowly by.

Where it came from, where it goes?
I could stare all day and never know,
But does that matter even so,
Briefly flourishing and later gone.

Why do I look ahead, dwell on behind
Why can't I enjoy today for all I find?
I feel like the cloud drifting away,
My shape transforming with a new day,

I'm ready to fly I'm ready to learn,
To become the best person I can discern,
I need someone to release me please
Freedom, beauty, please be me.