Good morning blog,
Tomorrow marks the 1 month anniversary of my hrt restart and to celebrate I got my first blood test results. I will be reviewing them with the doctor in a few days, but from my research it looks like my testosterone is really low and my estrogen a bit low but still in the ideal range for a cis female. So if I had to interpret these results, I would say I am already closer to female than male in my levels. That makes me happy.
Lately, I have been reflecting much and surprised at how fast I feel being drawn more and more to continue to transition. My mirror phobia has dissipated somewhat I see more of the female side of me when I look into it. I know these are all mind games but they are the little things that make me happy each day here. I feel the storm clouds rising as there are some big discussions and decisions to be had soon with my spouse and that still brings me down. But I have created a simple mantra for myself that I am going to try and start each day and look at when I feel down and at a loss. I know all long journeys require an enormous amount of little steps, and it is these little steps I am going to try to concentrate on for now.
My matra ~
I am trans.
It is not what defines me but part of what makes me unique.
Today I will have the courage to take one step forward,
and to not let it defeat me if I end up where I began.
I am worthy of love and can be the person I want to be,
no matter of my fears, my struggles and the pain it brings.
My heart is precious just like everyone else's in the world.
And I choose to accept myself and to be the best I can be.
Hope that you have the best of day that you can for you. Hugs, Jaclyn