Today is a rough day as I am facing down alot of self-doubts and fears today. I have been wondering and self-questioning my transition, trying to understand if I am headed in the right direction and if I will ever get things to a point where I'll feel comfortable as passable.
If feels as if I have reached a wall here.
I have been thinking of the tv series American Ninja warrior and their iconic wall that competitors have to face and run up it to overcome the last obstacle in one of their courses. I feel as if I am facing that wall right now and running up and sliding down it.
The last time I got to this place, I backed away and went down a destructive path. I don't want to do that again this time.
I am hoping that I get over this wall, to date this feels like a big obstacle and perhaps I need a hand from above to hoist me over. Here I go running at it again, wish me luck ....