tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4053590918164196487.post3056865024994004005..comments2024-03-26T21:13:16.628-07:00Comments on Just Jaclyn...: Why am I looking for validation?Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4053590918164196487.post-4430536229279270092016-10-01T14:57:51.168-07:002016-10-01T14:57:51.168-07:00Your reality is clearly your reality. However cons...Your reality is clearly your reality. However consider the idea that potentially compromise really means optimization. You trying to optimize your life as are all of us. Myself I've been married 34 years, for kids, all grown, and now my wife and I of 34 years are going through essentially our second honeymoon. I get to be a girl at home and a man outside the home at work. I have to provide for my family. So is it compromise or is it optimization? I guess it's all up to each of us to find our own path.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4053590918164196487.post-70067916507139829002016-10-01T10:17:37.071-07:002016-10-01T10:17:37.071-07:00Thank you everyone for all the support and advice,...Thank you everyone for all the support and advice, I don't know how to express how much I appreciate it when I feel at such a vulnerable point here. I know that I need to be patient and let things work out but it feels like my head is swimming in emotions and thoughts. It does feel so good to know that I am not the only one that has felt this way, and I know while everyone is unique that it feels good to have some things in common. I wish I could send you all a virtual hug of gratitude.Jacquelinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15890871326138260662noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4053590918164196487.post-41361403684282730882016-10-01T03:49:49.138-07:002016-10-01T03:49:49.138-07:00You're not a failure, nor are you crazy. As fo...You're not a failure, nor are you crazy. As for whether things will get better or you'll be happier than you are now, I don't think anyone else can tell you (though they might help you discover it for yourself). <br />I don't think tests, even those as comprehensive as the MMPI, tell you anything you don't already know, but sometimes they can act as a mirror. Beware of unvalidated online 'tests' though. They are probably as dangerous as they are useless. <br />Whatever happens, however you eventually decide, I wish you all the best.SusieJayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01038616807347585413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4053590918164196487.post-55291034764277366582016-10-01T02:50:14.906-07:002016-10-01T02:50:14.906-07:00I completely understand. It's not easy, none o...I completely understand. It's not easy, none of it is. Who you are is partially defined over the years by how people perceive you. It isn't all that you are, you are a human being, you have layers. Look into the mirror, are you happy with the person who stares back at you? No one can tell you to transition or how you feel but you. We have all been in that middle ground. It's kind of nice there, you get to not worry so much about passing and just feel feminine in your head. You don't worry about surgery or how to pay for it. The middle ground is where you still have that idea that this is all something you can stop if you want. But the middle ground is just a pause, a stop along the way. It's not a destination. I know that you will find the right path to take. No one is going to live your life for you, you have to live it your way.Beth Lockehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02413523125628243429noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4053590918164196487.post-49815396909425764082016-10-01T02:49:38.944-07:002016-10-01T02:49:38.944-07:00I completely understand. It's not easy, none o...I completely understand. It's not easy, none of it is. Who you are is partially defined over the years by how people perceive you. It isn't all that you are, you are a human being, you have layers. Look into the mirror, are you happy with the person who stares back at you? No one can tell you to transition or how you feel but you. We have all been in that middle ground. It's kind of nice there, you get to not worry so much about passing and just feel feminine in your head. You don't worry about surgery or how to pay for it. The middle ground is where you still have that idea that this is all something you can stop if you want. But the middle ground is just a pause, a stop along the way. It's not a destination. I know that you will find the right path to take. No one is going to live your life for you, you have to live it your way.Beth Lockehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02413523125628243429noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4053590918164196487.post-176922147800363542016-10-01T02:40:11.150-07:002016-10-01T02:40:11.150-07:00Repeat after me: "I am not a fraud. I am doin...Repeat after me: "I am not a fraud. I am doing the best I can." <3<br /><br />For what it's worth, there are many paths for trans people, be they occasional dabblers, part timers or full time folk.<br /><br />AFAIK, there isn't a test, and I think you go as far as you need to, to be yourself. Tread carefully and please look after yourself.<br /><br />LynnLynn Joneshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00876715474502367377noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4053590918164196487.post-43295052567411371672016-09-30T23:10:57.709-07:002016-09-30T23:10:57.709-07:00No simple test I'm afraid, but I certainly rec...No simple test I'm afraid, but I certainly recognise the description you have given!<br /><br />I'm not sure I can give you a reasonable answer though... When I got to the point of panic attacks I ended up (through my doctor, and then the gender clinic in Amsterdam) with an amazing therapist who helped me work it through. It still took a year or so, and the whole time he was advising me too be patient and not do anything rash whilst I was still thinking. Certainly no pushing etc. And all of that time I was thinking that it was impossible for me to transition.<br /><br />Only when I had figured it out for myself did he actually start helping and preparing for transition rather than helping me figure out what I needed (note: not what I though and said I wanted).<br /><br />I had amazing support from my partner, my parents, my in-laws and my colleagues / friends. That is something that I never expected and certainly never took for granted.<br /><br />I hope that you can find someone add experienced in gender issues as I had, I can't imagine doing this without someone like him!<br /><br />Good luck,<br />StaceStacehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07907346657510908857noreply@blogger.com