Last Post

Hello and good bye blog, I have not been writing much lately because I have been depressed, anxious, sad and just not able to make many coherent thoughts. Today however writing for me is simple because I have peace, solitude, acceptance of my plan ahead. I am coming up on the nine year anniversary of coming out as Jaclyn and it has been a tumultuous nine years since that date. I have had many experiences, shared thoughts and opinions with others, spent time analyzing things in therapy, and even reached out for medical assistance. Really in the end I am no further than what I was nine years ago and just have a lot of sorrow and regret for what could have been. But that is passed now, instead of bouts of non-controllable crying I know just have silent thoughts and no more tears. My commitment to my family and others is complete, I hoped to be around a little longer to celebrate a bit but things are taken care of so that everyone can function independently and even have some reserves that I have put aside for them financially. I am now starting to disperse of some of those token objects that I foolishly once covetted and to say my final good byes. I have already started down that list and know it is time to say good bye to this blog and my delusional fantasy world as Jaclyn and to cross that off the list. It feels comforting to have an exit plan and final date all set. In the sweet words of others I am finally coming home and going to drown out all the noise. Good bye blog and thank you for being there for me. Jaclyn