Hello blog,
Just feeling a little reflective as another birthday is coming up this week here. Another trip in orbit around around our nearest star and not much to report on for me.
I was hoping a few weeks ago to start spending some honest time with myself trying to figure out who I am or better yet what I want to be. I feel a little defeated as even though I have written and thought about things I feel I am still no closer to any clarity. In fact, I feel like I continue to take one or two steps back and feel so disappointed in myself.
I wish I could just get up in the morning and look forward to something rather than the usually drudgery and hate to face another day. I don't feel like I can talk to anyone about my depression anymore and don't feel I can mentally change from this. Perhaps this is the state I feel most comfortable, it just makes me cry when I think about it.
Anyways, another day marches on and time to put one foot in front of the other and try to fake it again. I hate that saying fake it until you make it since I don't know where that is or don't think anything will ever change.
~Jaclyn
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