Trapped inside my head

 

Trapped inside my head

I’m trapped inside my head,

In this strange world I’m alone,

Sometimes I wish I were dead,

Sometimes I wish I belonged,

 

In the safety of this place I seek,

Somewhere to run away,

Here my masks I can discard,

Here only briefly can I stay,

 

Alone, confused, screaming at the world,

Alone, in shame, rolling in the waves of pain,

I suffer endlessly.

 

There are lots of words I hear,

Advice on paths to take,

I just want to disappear,

I feel I am a mistake,

 

I don’t know what they all do mean,

When they say I can be free,

By just accepting myself,

When I don’t know what that means,

 

I’m a fake, a fraud, trapped in this prison forever,

I’m weak, pathetic, a victimizer to me,

My penance is to be here to stay.

  

The relentless moon rises on another night,

I lie awake in the quiet solitude again,

Travelling back through this miserable world,

I go off in search of a friend,

 

To fantasize of what cannot be,

To entertain an alternative reality,

To imagine what it is like to be free,

In a world that doesn’t penalize me,

 

For me, I’m lost, I’m trapped inside my head,

For me, I’m gone, not alive but mostly dead,

This is all I’ll ever be.