I am so fucking sick and tired of Covid. Wrecking every plan and making me feel so isolated from everyone.
Last night my wife got a positive test so we are not quarantining until I can get a test which I think will probably show me as positive as well. If I get it and die maybe that's not to bad so my daughter can collect the insurance money to have a better life.
My wife and I had big arguments this week about taking Hrt and coming out as trans to her sister. Basically the message was to not be trans or leave. Since I am pathethic, I have stopped the estrogen and tried to be more "normal". I think this must be a sign that I am not really trans since I am not able to stand up for myself here. I am feeling really low and wanting to self-harm again.
Life is such a big pile of shit I don't really care right now about much and don't deserve it. I am feeling very resigned today and low.