question for the day

 Who do you want to be?

I was asked this question today and I am still wondering my response here.

Sounds like a pretty straight forward and simply question at first glance but that can be deceptive.  I wanted to respond right away with the first answer that came into my head but after holding on to that thought for a moment I became unsure of that response.

Sometimes we want one thing but do not want to give up other things to make that a reality - in that case perhaps it is what we would be not to give something up that we really want to be.

Sometimes we pine for a different thing but really rather have the fairy tale of the idea rather than it.

For me, I want to stop living my life pretend and only being free as Jaclyn here in the virtual world and in during some fleeting moments.  The price for that freedom for me is very steep and what has been holding me down or is what I really want is the comfort of my current existence since I haven't seem to be able to make a change.

I really don't know the right answer here but feel like my depression will never get better until I can answer this truthful and believe in my answer.   I've heard that to move forward you need to be uncomfortable; and I feel that I need to move ahead since I am stuck.   I will keep contemplating this question here as I work on my personal self-acceptance.

Hugs,

~Jaclyn