Hello blog.
I sitting here feeling small and sad today. It is quiet, dark and I am all alone with just a keyboard and my tears. I have been writing and living in this virtual world for a really long time and I feel that this is all I will ever be. I see some many other people out there in the real world that have strength and courage to follow their dreams and hopes and I am so happy for them.
I wish it could be me, I wish I could have others encouraging me and have the strength to live and be what I feel inside but I can't. I don't know why and can't but the explanation into words but I feel shameful and helpless and trapped.
Instead of the virtual persona that I pretend here, I feel like a fraud a fake a pathetic person sitting alone in the dark typing. I am so miserable and so depressed and each day brings more of the same unfulfilled shitty day as the last.
I am so so sad and can't stop crying to myself. I hate myself for being me.
