Good morning blog,
This week I have been really struggling with living dual gender lives. That is, while I spend the majority of my time playing the role of a normal, socially acceptable cis male in appearance and actions, inside I feel much differently and hate myself for this facade that I wear.
It really is wearing down on me just keeping quiet and doing what is expected of me instead of what I want. While that may sound like something simple to fix, there are lots of things holding me back here with probably the biggest one my courage to actually do anything about it.
The fact is that I need some help, need some support, need something to kick me in the ass here. I can trade emails and messages with other similar trans-questioning and trans-knowing folks but I feel so inferior around them. I am my worst enemy of sorts and resolve each day to change this but come up short.
I sometimes feel like a caterpillar that refuse to spin herself a cocoon. Idk, maybe I am being too much of a drama queen again, I just feel tired from this all.
Hugs,
Jaclyn
